Congrats to these 10 on being the worst

Table of Contents

It’s difficult to categorize the worst fan bases. It’s like ranking David Spade movies.

Is it the spoiled and petulant Yankee fan? Is it the fan base that was so poorly behaved there was once a jail in the stadium (if the touchdown doesn’t fit, you must acquit)? Is it the greatest front-running fan base that ever existed in New York Giants fans? Is it Patriots fans, who think they invented football, despite riding Tom Brady’s genome like a jockey at the Preakness? Is it the Duke basketball fan? The one fan base that all other fan bases merge like Voltron and agree to hate, the way all scientists agree there was a Big Bang.

Fans are the bloodstream of sports and they should be cherished. Well, most of them. Some of them. A small portion of them. The ones who aren’t in jail.

Most fans are great. These are not those fans.

The fans on this list are the opposite of fan royalty like the Cleveland Browns, Baltimore Orioles, Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers fans. Or the most underrated fan base in all of sports in the Baltimore Ravens.

What’s the opposite of class and royalty? The Ted Nugent of fans?

Fans who made this list say “last set, best set” while working out.

We’re having some fun here. If you possess no sense of humor, like a 49ers fan, read elsewhere, unless you’re a Houston Astros fan. In that case, have someone read this list to you.

The list is also limited to the U.S. We’re bad enough. No need to drag the entire planet into this. Plus when a list leaves the U.S., immigration gets involved, and that’s when things get messy.

So, as a Jets fan would write: LeTT’s geT thE sHuW sTaRTid.

10. Philadelphia Eagles fans

This is more of an emeritus nomination since Eagles fans really aren’t that bad now. Really. It’s actually a pretty great fan base. Were they once maleficent? Oh, yes. The booing of Donovan McNabb on draft day is one of the all-time worst moments in draft history. And yes, Eagles fans’ behavior was once so bad they had a jail inside the old stadium. That is first-class fan skullduggery.

However, the notorious booing of Santa Claus is a more complicated story than non-Eagles fans want to admit. Bottom line: Santa deserved it.

9. Notre Dame football fans

Haven’t won a national championship in over three decades but act like they’re Alabama. In reality, the program is the Mike Dukakis of football. As someone that is 17% Irish (seriously) this pains me. Also, Rudy was offsides.

BAD OWNERS:The cheap, the greedy, the inept and unlikeable

HAD TO BE THERE:Breaking down sports venues that provide legendary fan experiences.

GOOD. BAD. UGLY.:Here’s a look at the worst (and best!) alternate jerseys in sports

8. University of Texas football fans

Suffers from the same symptoms as Irish fans. They haven’t won a football national title since the 1800s. At least that’s how it seems.

7. Golden State Warriors fans

Few fan bases are more come-lately than this one. There were 17 Warrior fans B.S.C., Before Steph Curry. Now, there are apparently 20 million of them and they have been fans from the beginning. They allege.

6. St. Louis Cardinals fans

Did you know they invented the sport of baseball?

5. Red Sox fans

I’ll take it easy on you since you’re probably still grappling with desegregation.

4. Boston Celtics fans

See No. 5.

3. New England Patriots fans

Truth is, I actually like Patriots fans. They have watched that franchise go from one of the most putrid in all of sports to one of the best, and unlike other fans like, say, New York Giants fans, who ignore the team when they lose, and run like the Flash to get on that bandwagon when they win, Patriots fans stick with the team.

Putting them here is more about my Constitutional duty as an American to acknowledge just how much other fans absolutely despise Patriots fans. They may be the most hated fan base in sports. The Patriots’ fan basic philosophy is: “We’re great, suck it. And stick Deflategate up your —.”

I respect this life philosophy but can see how it’s highly annoying.

2. Dallas Cowboys fans

Cowboys fans in August: (Saying while in your face) “This is our year! Back in the Super Bowl!”

Cowboys fans in December after being eliminated from the playoffs: (Saying from across the room) “I’m gonna switch and become an Eagles fan.”

1. Miami Heat fans

These fans have the honor of owning one of the most unintentionally hilarious moments in fan history. It was June 19, 2013. Game 4 of the Finals. There are 28.2 seconds left. The San Antonio Spurs are up over the Heat by four points. The Spurs’ Manu Ginobili heads to the free throw line.

At that point, Heat fans, who likely arrived 90 minutes late, started leaving the arena. Ginobili makes one of his two free throws. All hell breaks loose after that and the Heat turn the game around, take it to overtime, and win.

Heat fans that left desperately tried to get back in but were locked out.

WPLG’s Victor Oquendo, as Deadspin.com noted, was there to make sure they didn’t go unshamed:

Fans streaming out … I’m gonna throw up